Ollie gave me great advice and I further attended to my pitch to fix the problem with forgetting about the price. I also made sure I kept eye contact and tried to be a little more dynamic rather than standing completely still the entire pitch. All the advice given was entirely useful with no silly or random advice.
Friday, October 25, 2019
17A - Elevator Pitch Practice! (Part 2!)
Ollie gave me great advice and I further attended to my pitch to fix the problem with forgetting about the price. I also made sure I kept eye contact and tried to be a little more dynamic rather than standing completely still the entire pitch. All the advice given was entirely useful with no silly or random advice.
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Hi Jaiden,
ReplyDeletereally liked the opening, so people can draw the personal connection! You had great eye contact and the pitch was very clear and easy to follow. Besides still mentioning the cost, maybe it would be easier to focus on the state of Florida first, although it is an online course? I do not know if the student loan plans vary from state to state, but it could perhaps be easier to narrow it down a little at the beginning. As probably freshmen are already looking for advice on this, maybe you could mention a certain debt amount at the beginning, so people know what they could end up with if they do not use your service or what the average student in Florida is facing on debt after graduation. As you still have some time left at the end, you could take some more time to explain your platform, e.g. what kind of information people would put in, what your key services are (comparing loan providers to help them choose, keeping track of their payments, etc.). Hope this helps! Great idea and great pitch though!
Ollie
Hi Jaiden,
ReplyDeleteI liked your business idea overall and think it is good that you were able to have consistent eye contact while pitching your business to us. The comment I would have for you are to maybe try to have your camera at eye level so that we can see from your waist up at least as opposed to what seems to be a floating head.
Hi Jaiden, I liked your elevator pitch, it was definitely an improvement from the last one. It feels more as though you are speaking to potential customers, and not just reading a script. Keeping eye contact and using body gestures is a good way to keep the viewers watching and actively listening. Feedback is a great tool to use to improve, so I'm glad you have taken Ollie's advice!
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